The Beer Guru’s Guide
This book will provide enlightenment for those who thirst for knowledge.
Drinking beer is a spiritual experience, a step on the path to mystical enlightenment. Translated from scrolls found in the rubble of the Balti Towers restaurant, the enigmatic Beer Guru’s teachings have become renowned.
Follow this step-by-step guide that takes you on a quest for The Holy Ale, a sacred beer that flows from the Font of All Wisdom and bestows infinite knowledge, immortality and instant enlightenment.
If you survive the initiation of the whirling pit, you will meet the Guru himself, the Dalai Llager, the Beer Goddess and the Barmy Swami. You will learn how to create your own Beer Temple and master the art of Tantric Beer drinking, so that you can keep it up all night.
You will achieve nirvana, one-ness with the universe, ecstatic bliss, immortality, wisdom and you will never suffer a hangover again.
“Do you honestly expect us to believe that you can find enlightenment through beer? Most definitely.”
‘The Big Issue in the North’
“The spiritual virtues of beer-drinking…the mystical Beer Guru offers advice such as ‘never drink anything that doesn’t have a head’.”
“The next best thing to drinking the varying-shades-of-brown stuff is reading about it…make beer appreciation all the more pleasurable…Witty, clever and apposite.”